What's This?
by Abby-0-Abby
Summary: Kakuzu drops Hidan in Christmastown, and boy is he pissed. Lovely crackfic and songfic at the same time xD Rated M for LOADS of language.


Aha, I got so bored.

WATCH OUT! THIS HAS LOADS OF AWFUL LANGUAGE.

Enjoy :3

What's This? - Nightmare Before Christmas

**You should hear the song before you read this, by the way.**

--Abby

* * *

_What's this? What's this?_

"What the fuck?!" I yelled. That bastard Kakuzu dumped me in some shitty town. I looked back at where he was standing when he dumped me here. He wasn't there anymore.

_There's color everywhere_

Jashin, it was BLINDING. The houses were covered in the gay-ass lights and shit...

_There's white things in the air_

I slicked back my hair in frustration and felt something cold and wet on top. I looked up.

_I can't believe my eyes_

I couldn't fucking believe him. I couldn't **FUCKING** believe that the bastard dumped me in some town with mother fucking SNOW.

_I must be dreaming, wake up, jack, this isn't fair_

Jashin, I WISHED I was just having some nightmare. This SUCKED major ASS.

_What's this? There's something very wrong_

I knew DAMN WELL that I wasn't supposed to fucking be in this...WHEREVER the fuck I was...

_There are people singing songs_

I brought up my scythe and brought it down on the fucking caroler's heads. I swore I would KILL any more mother fuckers that would sing their shitty songs.

_The streets are lined with little creatures laughing_

'STUPID ASS KIDS!' I roared in my mind. Again, my scythe shed more blood and made the ugly ass snow beautiful fucking red.

_Everybody seems so happy, have I possibly gone daffy?_

I hate the Jashin-damned happiness around this place. Too many stupid smiles. And what the fuck?! **_DAFFY?_** I thought that was that annoying-ass duck in those stupid cartoons. You stupid songwriter!

_There are children throwing snowballs here, instead of throwing heads_

Why the fuck aren't they throwing the heads that I chopped off before?! There were at least ten of them, why would they use the fricking snow if they had free heads?! Asses!

_They're busy building toys_

WHY? They don't fucking need those! They'll just burn them or give them away to those poor-ass kids across town!

_And absolutely no one's dead_

WHAT THE FUCK?! Did they NOT see the fifteen fucking people I killed?! Did they not check the fucking death toll yet?! What the fuck is wring with you you stupid-ass songwriter!

_There's frost on every window_

BURN THEM DOWN!

_Oh, I can't believe my eyes_

You might as well gouge my eyes out right now!

_And in my bones I feel the warmth that's coming from inside_

Fuck no! I feel the warmth of my cloak, and that's it! Hell, it's not even that warm!

_Oh, look, what's this?_

No, I'm not looking at your fucking shit. I don't want to know.

_They're hanging mistletoe, they kiss_

GAG.

_Why that looks so unique, inspired_

No, it's fucking sick. Who the fuck is inspired to do THAT anyway?

_They're gathering around to hear a story_

Pfft, I'M NOT.

_Roasting chestnuts on a fire_

Ew. Screw that.

_In here they've got a little tree, how queer, and who would ever think? And why?_

Yeah, DERANGED is a better word. How and why the hell should I know why the fuck they did it?!

_They're covering it with tiny little things, they've got electric lights on strings_

I'LL GO ELECTRIC LIGHT ON YOUR ASS IF YOU KEEP ON USING TOO MUCH FUCKING DETAILS!

_And there's a smile on everyone_

WHY?! IT BURNS!!

_So, now, correct me if I'm wrong, this looks like fun, this looks like fun_

I'll gladly correct your sorry ass!

_Oh, could it be I got my wish?_

FUCK NO, YOU LAMER.

_Oh my, what now?_

I STILL don't want to know.

_The children are asleep_

Good, easier to kill.

_But look, there's nothing underneath_

...And you're point is...?

_No ghouls, no witches here to scream and scare them or ensnare them_

Ghouls? Witches? Are you fucking KIDDING ME? I could kick their asses! Jashin, those stupid kids have NO courage or strength, do they?

_Only little cozy things secure inside their dreamland_

Not for fucking long...

_The monsters are all missing and the nightmares can't be found_

The monsters are dead, and the nightmares...I just haven't gotten inside anyone's fucking head yet.

_And in their place there seems to be good feeling all around_

Fuck no. Jashin, stop saying that!

_Instead of screams, I swear I can hear music in the air_

MORE FUCKING CAROLERS?!

_The smell of cakes and pies is absolutely everywhere_

I hope Sasori poisoned them.

_The sights, the sounds they're everywhere and all around_

Which is such a fucking shame.

_I've never felt so good before_

ARE YOU DRUNK?!

_This empty place inside of me is filling up_

Filling up with fucking rage, that what's filling it up! KAKUZU, YOU BASTARD, GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

_I simply cannot get enough, I want it, oh, I want it, oh, I want it for my own_

You must be on drugs if you wanted ANY of this shit.

_I've got to know, I've got to know, what is this place that I have found?_

Possibly hell. No, MOST LIKELY hell.

_What is this?_

A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!


End file.
